


Meaning

by helsinkibaby



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-07-20
Updated: 2004-07-20
Packaged: 2017-12-20 20:28:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/891501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/helsinkibaby/pseuds/helsinkibaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You put your arm around her in full view of everyone...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Meaning

It doesn’t mean anything. At least, that’s what you tell yourself as you lie in your bed, staring at the ceiling.

You put your arm around Sam in full view of God and every man and woman in the Gate Room. So what? Big deal.

It doesn’t mean anything.

It was a means of warning her to keep her mouth shut, to say nothing about the objections that would be raised to Ry’ac marrying in the SGC. That was for Teal’c or Jack to tell him, not Sam, and certainly not you. It also served as a means of finding out if she was as surprised by those plans as you were, and the way she echoed your every thought, the tone of her voice, seemed to bear that out.

It was just a simple, ordinary, everyday gesture.

And even if it were more, it wouldn’t matter. Because she’s Lieutenant Colonel Samantha Carter and you’re Doctor Daniel Jackson, and you both work at the SGC, are members of the same team, and it doesn’t matter that you’re a civilian, because if anything were to happen between you, you’d still be breaking about seventeen different rules of conduct.

Besides military rules, you’re friends, in a world where you don’t have many friends full stop, let alone those who know what you do, who understand how it feels to travel to distant planets in the blink of an eye, to stare unbelievable evil and destruction in the face, to hold your dying friend in your arms and come out the other side.

Sam is one of the best friends you’ve ever had, and you’re not going to lose her, not for anything.

And even if you were interested in her – which you’re not, you remind yourself, you absolutely are not – she’s dating Pete now. She’s crazy about him, or as crazy as Sam gets, and you’ve met him, albeit briefly; you know that he’s a good guy. Just like you know that she deserves that, deserves to be happy.

So it doesn’t mean anything that you put your arm around her in the middle of the SGC and left it there like it was the most natural thing in the world. It doesn’t mean anything that her body felt good against yours, that she fit against your side like she belonged there. It doesn’t mean anything that holding her like that, so close and yet so far away, made you think about holding her closer, about what it would be like if you weren’t just friends, if you were more than that.

None of that means anything, because it can’t.

Just like it doesn’t mean anything that she didn’t shrug off your arm, didn’t show any signs of surprise or discomfort, just looked at you like it was natural for her too.

It doesn’t mean anything that, when your arm was around her shoulders, she reached up and held your hand. Her fingers were warm as they wrapped around yours, and you can remember so many times over the last few years you’ve seen those hands fire a gun or type a report or sketch circles in the air; how could you ever have guessed that her touch could be so firm, yet so gentle at the same time?

And it definitely doesn’t mean anything that, after Ry’ac and his fiancée had left, that you both stood there for a long moment, looking at one another, with your arm around her shoulders and her hand holding yours.

That doesn’t mean anything at all.

It can’t.


End file.
